A look at what may be a major cause behind our emotional epidemic.

Something is wrong! We seem to be in the middle of a rapidly exploding emotional epidemic. In our churches as well as society at large, emotional problems are increasing at ever faster rates.

God designed this earth and humans to function on certain scientific laws and principles. Usually, an event is a reaction to something. We realize that some emotional problems are caused by chemical imbalances. Some are caused by other physical or mental problems. However, I want to look at another cause that can be found within us, which is the result of certain modern influences.

Psychologists have observed that their clients typically have a low self-esteem. Many have feelings of guilt and worthlessness, or feel others look down on them. The answer was clear to psychologists: We must raise people’s self-esteem. Help them feel good about themselves. Help them love themselves and they will love others. Give them confidence in themselves. It was thought that raising people’s self-esteem should lower the incidence of emotional illnesses, depression, violent crimes, suicide, etc.

As the public’s confidence in secular psychology increased, the self-esteem message took a hold though our country. Today, nearly everyone in a position that includes working with the emotional development of people, including not only psychiatrists and psychologists, but also counselors, school teachers, social workers, ministers, parents, etc. are consciously or unconsciously indoctrinated with the importance of raising self-esteem. The Christian church has also accepted psychology’s answer and joined to promote self-esteem. Robert Schuller wrote, “Where the sixteenth century Reformation returned our focus to sacred Scriptures as the infallible rule of faith and practice, the new reformation will return our focus to the sacred right of every person to self-esteem.”

Lack of self-esteem as the cause of emotional problems and crime has only been discovered fairly recently. One hundred years ago, this was not known, and therefore little or no effort was expended in promoting self-esteem. In fact, in those days a high self-esteem (pride in self) was generally thought as undesirable and detrimental. Pride in any form was considered wrong. Excessive self-love was considered a character flaw, and even self-confidence was considered by Christians to be a hindrance to faith in God.

What is the result of today’s self-esteem building efforts? The emotional problems related to self-esteem continue to increase in proportion to these teachings!

In a study, known as the Cambridge-Sommerville Youth Study, 650 underprivileged boys six to ten years old were divided into two equal groups, one of which was given psychological counseling. A follow-up 30 years later showed that those who received therapy had more problems with alcoholism, mental illness, job dissatisfaction and stress-related diseases and committed significantly more serious crimes than those who had not received therapy.

Studies have shown that prison inmates who received psychological treatment (mostly self-esteem based) were more likely to commit new crimes than those who didn’t receive treatment. Studies have also shown that the higher a person’s self-esteem is, the more apt he is to be immoral and violent. The more he thinks of himself, the less he cares about the rights of others.

Why? The thinking patterns psychology promotes are the opposite of the Bible’s instructions. They teach to esteem self highly, to have faith in self, to not take responsibility for their own problems, and to shrug off guilt as an unhealthy result of their upbringing. The rise of emotional problems in America has coincided with the promotion and general acceptance of self-esteem based humanistic psychology. A high self-esteem requires continuous feeding or its focus on self will destroy the emotional health.

Modern psychology teaches that “Everything must be balanced with a sense of self-worth.” We must convince ourselves that we are special. “Remind yourself that you are special...” Self-esteem, self-love, self-confidence, and self-everything are promoted as of utmost necessity if we want to live emotionally healthy lives, be successful, and even be pleasing to God.

The Gospel of salvation itself is being corrupted in the self-promoting process. The Bible teaches us that we are sinners saved by grace through faith, not of ourselves, but it is the gift of God, who, while we were yet in our sins, died to redeem us, not because of our own merits, but because of His love and grace. But this Gospel is falling out of modern favor. It is now becoming popular to teach that Christ’s sacrifice for you is a sign of your worth and merit. This is contrary to the Scriptures which teach that it was not because of our value, merit, or worth, but alone because of the unmerited grace of God for us sinners that He made a way of salvation. Has even the Gospel of salvation become a victim of secular psychology?

The Bible tells us that the last days will be perilous times, and it tells us why: “for men shall be lovers of their own selves,” and it gives a whole list of sins that are the result of self-esteem and self-love. “This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, without natural affections, truce-breakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, traitors, heady, high-minded, lovers of pleasure more than lovers of God; having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away” (2 Tim. 2:1-5).

When we are “lovers of our own selves” as modern psychology teaches us to be, we will not only have more emotional problems, but will also be more apt to trample on the rights of others because of our own self-importance and self-esteem. Also, even though we have a form of godliness, our self-confident approach to life “denies the power” of God. Unlike those men of faith before us who did all in the power of God, our faith is in the power of our own positive thinking and self-esteem, rather than in God.

The Bible does not promote a “can’t do” attitude or having a “loser” complex. But it tells us to find our power and abilities in God, not in self. Philippians 4:13 says “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” God is omnipotent, and it is He we are serving. “Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding” (Pro. 3:5), because “It is better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in man” (Ps. 118:8).

Self-esteem is not what we need, and it does us no lasting good. Self-esteem therapy can, as a byproduct, promote the feeling of acceptance and love, which is very helpful. However, acceptance promoted by self-esteem therapy is not as effective as love and acceptance taught without self-esteem, because self-esteem therapy creates the impression of acceptance based on performance and value rather than unconditional love and acceptance not based upon any merits. Self-esteem can also make it more difficult for the individual to face the problem and accept the responsibility of changing it. Our original problem is our pride and focus on self. Instead of trying to increase the person’s opinion of himself to the point that his perceived need for self-esteem is filled (which, eventually will make him need more), why not try to lower his need for self-esteem by turning his focus away from self? Show acceptance, not admiration. Dependence on self-esteem may be caused by feeling unaccepted. Our humanistic devotion to self and self-esteem should be replaced with devotion to God.

The focus on self-esteem promotes peer pressure, worldly ambition for fame, money and power as a means toward acceptance and love. It also promotes the symptoms we think of as low self-esteem or feelings of inferiority, as the individual does not always meet his own expectations, or others appear not to esteem him as highly as he feels they should.

Self-esteem in the Bible

In looking how the word esteem is used in the Bible, we cannot find anything promoting esteeming self. Following is what we do find: “Therefore I esteem all thy precepts concerning all things to be right” (Ps. 119:128). “In lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves” (Philip. 2:3). “And to esteem them [which labor among you] very highly in love for their work’s sake.” (1 Thess. 5:13) 

We should esteem God’s Word and will, we should esteem each other better than ourselves, and we should esteem the ministry. Not a word about esteeming ourselves except that we should esteem others better.

In the Bible accounts, high self-esteem was always detrimental, and God always chose men with low self-esteem, such as Moses (the meekest man in the earth, Num. 12:3) and Jeremiah for His great work. Notice their responses to God’s call: “And Moses said unto God, Who am I, that I should go unto Pharaoh, and that I  should bring forth the children of Israel out of Egypt? And he said, Certainly I will be with thee...And Moses said unto the LORD, O my Lord, I am not eloquent, neither heretofore, nor since thou hast spoken unto thy servant: but I am slow of speech, and of a slow tongue. And the LORD said unto him, Who hath made man’s mouth? Or who maketh the dumb, or deaf, or the seeing or the blind? have not I the LORD? Now therefore go, and I will be with thy mouth, and teach thee what thou shalt say (Moses in Ex. 3:11, 4:10-11).

“Then said I, Ah, Lord GOD! behold, I cannot speak: for I am a child. But the LORD said unto me, Say not, I am a child: for thou  shalt go to all that I shall send thee, and whatsoever I command thee thou shalt speak. Be not afraid of their faces: for I am with thee to deliver thee, saith the LORD. Then the LORD put forth his hand, and touched my mouth. And the LORD said unto me, Behold, I have put my words in thy mouth” (Jeremiah in Jer. 1:6-9).

Please notice God’s response to these men with low self-esteem. He does nothing to increase their self-esteem, but He turns their attention away from self and says that He will be with them. Their self-esteem does not need a boost—it is as it should be. Their faith should not be in themselves but in God. They are not going in their own power, but they are going in the power of God. This is what God desires of us yet today. Satan, who was cast out of heaven because of pride is our first example of high self-esteem. Some examples of men whose downfall was high self-esteem are Ahithophel (2 Sam. 17:23); Uzziah (2 Chron. 26:16-19); Haamon (Es. 3:5; 5:11, 13: 6:6; 7:10); and Nebuchadnezzar (Dan. 4:30-34; 5:20).

Nurturing godly emotional health in a humanistic world.

Secular psychology tells us that for their emotional health, we need to build up our children’s self-esteem. The following quote is typical: “Parents need to fill a child’s bucket of self-esteem so high that the rest of the world can’t poke enough holes in it to drain it dry” (Alvin Price). It sounds good, but a high self-esteem is actually the problem. It would be much better to express unconditional love, appreciation and acceptance to them and draw their attention away from self.

Praise does have an important place in relationships. However, its value is not in increasing self-esteem, but to express appreciation and love. Solomon wrote that the virtuous woman’s husband will praise her, saying: “Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all” (Prov. 31:29).

There is much value in this praise by the husband. However, its value is not to raise her self-esteem, but to convey the husband’s opinion of her. The love and appreciation of her husband is very valuable to the wife’s emotional health. High self-esteem is detrimental to anyone’s emotional health. The above quote from Proverbs: “thou excellest them all” is praise given to a mature wife by her husband. Given to a child, it might well make him conceited. The apostle Paul warns us: “for we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves; but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise” (2 Cor. 10:12). The apostle Paul also warned the Romans: “For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith.” (Rom. 12:3)

We do not need self-esteem. Rather, we need to esteem God, His Word, and our fellow man. As Christians we do not need self-confidence. Self-confidence is the enemy of faith in God. Realization of our own helplessness and inabilities and the sufficiency of God is a necessity for effective prayer and faith. Our confidence should be in God to work through us. The best thing we can to do for our emotional health is to take our focus off of ourselves and focus on God.

Weaverland Publications, 298 Wheat Ridge Drive, Ephrata, Pennsylvania 17522  Phone: (717) 351-0218

Language

English

Author

Glenn Wenger

Publisher

Weaverland Mennonite Publications

Topics

Health

Humility

Truth