True Love Knows How to Wait

Premarital sex. No big deal? Or, maybe it is a big deal? What does God say about it? He speaks plainly on the subject...

Monica was only thirteen years old when she gave in to having sex before marriage. This was her testimony:

"It was the most horrible experience of my life—not the exciting and satisfying experience that my friends made me believe that it was. I felt as though my very inner being was being exposed and that the emptiness and the cry of my heart was not heard by anyone. It’s horrible how my conscience accuses me. I fear the day when I will need to tell the man I truly love and will marry that he has not been the only man in my life, though I wish that he were. I have stained my life before God, I have done so much damage to myself, to my parents, and to my entire family."

The Bible says: Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body (1 Corinthians 6:18).

Rachel and John had known one another for a year and had a wonderful friendship and a marvelous courtship. John’s parents dearly loved Rachel, but one night John began to pressure his girlfriend into having sex with him. He told her, "If you really love me you won’t say no; what’s more, we’re almost married."

Rachel already had her wedding dress made, but that tragic night this young lady gave in to the pressure. As a result, she became pregnant. When she told John, he abandoned her and went to live in another city. Rachel’s parents now wanted nothing to do with her. This young lady is totally devastated and alone. Before long she will be another one among many single mothers, and her child another one among many without their real father.

The Bible says: But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality…For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person—such a man in an idolater—has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God. Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things God’s wrath comes on those who are disobedient. Therefore do not be partners with them (Ephesians 5:3, 5–7).

The young man that deceives a young lady like Monica or Rachel just so he can gratify himself is guilty of destroying her most precious longings and noble dreams. Such a young man also stains his own life and conscience with the sin of immorality. Young man, you have no right to ruin the life of any lady like this. When she gives in to you, she not only gives herself to you physically but also emotionally, sentimentally, psychologically and spiritually.

The young man who respects his intended wife shows his love by refusing to make intimate physical advances. Lust does not wait, infatuation does not wait—but true love knows how to wait!

Young man, true manhood is linked with the control of your own physical drives. Surrender yourself to Christ and develop a strong and self-controlled character. Respect women and yourself, and avoid these kinds of bitter experiences that will mark you for life. You would not like it if someone were to deceive and abuse your mother, sister, or in the future, a daughter. Do not do that to others.

The Bible says: Do you now know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God (1 Corinthians 6:9–10).

Now we all know that the man is not always the only one at fault. Of course not! There are young "ladies" who do not deserve any respect. They dress provocatively; they flirt; they are easy to have; everybody can hug them, pet them, or kiss them, and they don’t resist. Young lady, if this describes you, you are partly at fault for the consequences of your appearance and behavior. Dress and act decently, so you are not guilty of provoking sinful thoughts in the mind of the man who sees you. You need to be worthy of respect.

The Bible says: But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart (Matthew 5:28).

God made sex. It is very beautiful within marriage. It brings satisfaction, contentment, and emotional well-being. It is one of the most exquisite and gratifying pleasures that a couple can enjoy on this earth.

But outside of marriage, it becomes ugly and grotesque. It brings shame, slavery and misery.

It is worth waiting for! And your future husband or wife will thank you for waiting.

The Bible says: Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral (Hebrews 13:4).

If you are stained by sexual sin, whether you are a young man or a young lady, we plead with you to seek God in repentance and quit sinning. Christ can clean your body and your mind if you repent.

The Bible says: Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls (Matthew 11:28–30).

If you are free from sexual sin, we hope that this article will encourage you to continue faithful to the Lord and enjoy purity. If you are married, keep yourself pure and always be faithful to your partner.

The Bible says: Drink water from your own cistern, running water from your own well. Should your springs overflow in the streets, your streams of water in the public squares? Let them be yours alone, never to be shared with strangers. May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer—may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love. Why be captivated, my son, by an adulteress? Why embrace the bosom of another man’s wife? (Proverbs 5:15-20)

Translated and adapted with permission.

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Jamie Catillo
Anabaptist Faith

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