25 Practical Points on Child Training

Biblical advice, and some basic dos and don'ts for success in the most important role you will ever undertake

  1. Do not let the child murmur, pout, or cry because he does not like what you have told him to do.
  2. Do not let the child talk back in defiance or dispute your orders. Never let him keep on begging so that you will change your mind.
  3. Insist on prompt, total, and joyful obedience from the child.
  4. Do not repeat a command. If one command does not produce prompt, willing obedience, take the necessary steps so that the child will truly obey you.
  5. Do not let the child excuse himself with: “I didn’t hear you” or “I forgot,” when he could have heard and should have remembered. Insist on obedience and the child will learn how to hear and remember.
  6. Moderately praise the child’s best efforts and his good intentions, even though his work might not be perfect.
  7. Do not praise your child so that he feels superior to his friends.
  8. Do not rejoice that your child is intelligent. Rather rejoice that he can receive God’s wisdom and learn to obey Him.
  9. Do not let the child correct you or another adult unless he does it in humility and meekness.
  10. Teach your child to wait on his turn with patience. We want to get rid of the “me first” spirit.
  11. Do not let the child pity himself. He must learn that not all things in this life are equal.
  12. Do not stick up for your child when he is wrong.
  13. Never let the child blame others or make excuses for his wrong behavior. Teach him that he is accountable for his actions.
  14. Do not ask a child to do something that is above his ability.
  15. Never spank a child for an offence until you are reasonably sure of his guilt.
  16. Do not leave the child unpunished for any disobedience. If the child knows he merits a punishment, and he knows you know it, but you do not have the heart to give him proper punishment, then he learns to scorn you, and he will live under condemnation. Discipline, when administered correctly, will not make the child feel you reject him. Rather, it will make him feel loved.
  17. Each time the child disobeys, mete out punishment only once and forgive him. If he disobeys again, punish him for his new offence, not for the disobedience you already dealt with and forgave.
  18. Do not ask the child to do something just because you don’t want to do it.
  19. Teach your child to work and to work willingly until he has finished the task.
  20. Never threaten your child that God is going to judge him.
  21. Never permit your child to dishonor God, in word or in deed.
  22. By your example, teach your child that spiritual and eternal things are of much more value than material things.
  23. Always be honest with your child. Do not promise something you do not intend to do.
  24. If you differ with your spouse on how to handle the child, do not discuss it in the child’s presence. Let the child know that you and your spouse stand together. Do not let him do something the other one would not permit.
  25. Depend on God to do the work in the child’s life that you will not be able to do. Pray to God every day for the child.

“He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.” —Proverbs 13:24

“Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” —Proverbs 22:6

“And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” —Ephesians 6:4


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